


Be Prepared

by BlorUtarfromZimtok5



Category: Futurama
Genre: Toilet Use Voyeurism Poop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 10:46:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlorUtarfromZimtok5/pseuds/BlorUtarfromZimtok5
Summary: Leela berates Fry and Bender for their lack of readiness, but sometimes she should take her own advice...





	Be Prepared

Leela sat the table in the Planet Express break room kitchen, tapping her toe and sipping her coffee. Fry was late for work again. And in just 10 minutes they had to take off with a delivery of salted peanuts to Keddle-1, the alcoholic planet. “Where is that jerk?” she groaned as the minute hand on her watch crept still closer to zero hour.

As if on cue, Fry suddenly darted into the room. “Sorry I'm late,” he gasped. “But, um, there was...an owl in my pants. Yeah, woke up to find a owl flapping around trapped in my pants this morning.”

“Spare me those lame excuses,” Leela said. “This is the third time this week! We have to take off in 10 minutes!”

“Okay,” Fry said, looking at the floor. “It was actually a mouse in my pants, but I got it out in only a few seconds. I...actually had to go to the bathroom, and you've seen my place; it's in a robot apartment building, so that means the only bathroom is the human janitor's bathroom. And that guy musta been plugged up or something, 'cause he wouldn't leave, so I had to go down to the Sphere-K a block away.”

“You know, there is a bathroom here,” Leela muttered. “Just help me load the ship so we can take off on time. You really have to be prepared more often!” She sighed as she finished the rest of her coffee in one gulp.

“Oh, Leela,” said Professor Farnsworth, suddenly emerging from his office. “Could you please...”

“Not now, Professor; we're running late,” Leela said.

“...sign for this new shipment of toilet paper?” the Professor continued as Leela rushed past. “Oh well; Zoidberg did say he needed some new wallpaper for his dumpster.”

* * *

It would be a long flight through one of the more boring stretches of the Milky Way, so Leela had filled up a whole thermos of coffee to keep herself awake for the flight. However, they had only passed Mars when their troubles began.

“Aw man, Leela, you gotta turn back!” Bender said. “I just realized I left my Waytron JN-9gs “Spaceway Songs” thumbdrive back home! I'll shut down with boredom if I don't have some tunes for the trip!”

“Bender, we're on a really tight schedule here!” Leela replied. “Like I told Fry, you have to learn how to be prepared more often!”

“Jeez, can't you give it a rest aleady?” Fry said. “Yeah, I'll admit I screwed up, but I still made it on time! And don't act like you never make any mistakes! Remember how you got seduced by Zapp Brannigan and Elzar?”

“That was years ago!” she shot back. “And it doesn't have anything to do with you two not remembering to do things ahead of time! I'm sorry, Bender, but we're already halfway through the asteroid belt; we can't afford to go behind schedule just for your thumbdrive.” And she took another sip from her thermos. However, after swallowing that bit of coffee, she felt a slight shift in her midsection, followed by a slight tingly feeling in her rear.

Leela was usually a very “regular” woman, having her daily bowel movement each morning after her coffee, before leaving the house. Of course, once in a while she wouldn't have to go for a day or two, and sometimes she would have to go in the middle of the day or even the afternoon or evening. And she hadn't had to go that morning (or yesterday), and she had been drinking coffee throughout the day up till now... Oh no... she thought. Already now she could feel a pressure building up in her rear.

All right, just stay calm, she told herself. Just focused on piloting the ship, and I can go after we make the dump—I mean delivery. And she grasped the wheel and stared straight ahead.

“Yeah, I know it was a long time ago,” Fry said. “But I feel like I have to bring it up once in a while. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“R-right,” Leela stammered. “B-but still.” The hard, full feeling in her rear was building up. It felt like it was going to be a pretty big load. Why did she have to drink so much coffee today?

“Say, are you okay?” Fry asked suddenly. “Your face is a bit red all of a sudden, and you're sweating.”

“J-just..trying to concentrate on flying,” Leela blurted. Her rectum was starting to ache. Oh God, please let me make it...pleeeease...

“If you're not feeling so good, I could take over for a bit,” Fry said. “Remember a couple months ago when I was practicing flying the ship, and I helped position those stars around the Professor's gravity bomb?”

“Y-yeah, that was very nice work, but I think I'm fi-ohhh!” Leela had to clench her buttocks tightly shut as a fart slipped out. This was going to be a photo finish, assuming they would make it. The ship had a bathroom, but...still. Fry and Bender had been the unprepared ones this morning, not her!

“Aw jeez!” groaned Bender. “You organic life forms continue to disgust me!”

“What do you care?” Fry asked. “You don't even have a sense of smell. And we don't mind you burping fire all the time.”

“Would you guys please be quiet?” Leela shouted. “I have to keep my eyes on our trajectory!” Yes, focus on piloting the ship, and ignore the growing soreness in her lower abdomen, and her sphincter puckering slightly despite her holding her buttocks tightly together. Just a few more hundred light-years to go...

“So, if you don't want the rest of your coffee, can I have it?” Fry asked.

“C-COULD YOU PLEASE TAKE OVER FOR A SEC, FRY?!?” Leela blurted. Without any further words, she unbuckled her seat belt, jumped up from her seat, and sprinted out of the crew cabin and down the hall, trying to hold her legs together. She was breathing heavily as she reached the bathroom door, opened it, darted inside, closed and locked it, opened the toilet lid, pulled her pants and panties down, and sat.

A thunderous fart boomed out of her anus, followed by what felt like a foot-long log which entered the water with a slight plop, followed by four more turds of at least half a foot, followed by a torrent of pee. When it was over Leela's upper body collapsed onto her legs; her face resting in her hands.

The relief was palpable (as was the smell), but so was the humiliation. She was supposed to be the responsible one; how could she not have thought that if she didn't have to poop first thing that morning, it would probably happen later that day? And drinking the amount of coffee she did would make it happen at the most inopportune time.

Oh well. Fry was right back there; everyone made mistakes. She would show her humility to Fry and Bender (and perhaps make sure they kept quiet) by buying them both martinis from the Vodka River on Keddle-1. She reached for the toilet paper roll.

All she could feel was cardboard. Just an empty roll.

Not even bothering to play over a mental rehearsal or let herself be held down by more embarrassment, she called Fry on her wrist phone.

“Umm...F-fry? Could you please switch over to autopilot for a bit and come here? I'm...in the bathroom right now.”

“O...kay. What is it?”

“Umm, could you try and make sure Bender doesn't hear first?” she asked.

“Okay. Hey Bender, look at the wall!”

“What, I don't see anything,” she heard Bender's voice saying.

“Just keep looking; you'll see it eventually,” Fry said. “Anyway, what is it?”

“Umm...” Leela began; her left hand twiddling her ponytail, “there's...no toilet paper in here. C-could you please...bring me some tissue?”

“Sure thing,” he said, and hung up. In less than a minute, Leela heard a knock at the bathroom door. She got up, shuffled to the door with her pants and panties around her ankles, and opened it a crack. Fry slipped the tissue in.

“Thanks,” Leela said, taking the wad and closing the door. As inconsiderate as Fry had been that morning, this time he had been thoughtful enough to bring her enough tissue to avoid getting poop on her fingers when wiping herself. But to her surprise, he was still there when she emerged from the bathroom after flushing.

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for being late to work. I'm guessing me arriving just before launch time left you without enough time to, umm, go.”

“No, it's my fault,” Leela said, blushing. “I shouldn't have drunk so much coffee before leaving. Let's just say everyone makes mistakes once in a while.”

“Would you like to help forget about all this cra...umm, stuff with a round of martinis after we make our delivery?” Fry asked.  
“You read my mind,” Leela said, as they returned to the cockpit.  
“  
“Hey, welcome back, losers,” Bender said as Fry and Leela arrived. “I still don't see anything on the wall, Fry.”

“Huh, I guess you missed it then; sorry,” Fry said.

“Oh yeah, and a call started coming in while you were gone, Fry.”

“I'll get it,” Leela said, sitting back in the captain's seat and turning on the videophone. Amy's face appeared on the screen. She looked as sheepish as Leela had about a minute ago.

“Uhh, hey,” Amy said, trying not to look at the camera. “Just wanted to let you know that it was my duty to call the septic service to pump out the ship's latrine tank, b-but I...forgot. So...don't use the toilet on this trip. I'm really sorry! I had to study for a big test yesterday!” And she hung up before Leela could reply.

“Hey, do you smell something?” Fry said, sitting down in his seat.

Bender had just glanced down the hall when a brick dropped out of his crotch plate. “Holy sh...”


End file.
